Tarot journal

"You have training or studies to do. Either you need to improve your work or an activity, or you are preparing yourself to return to school. This will be an intensive training and you will require a strong will. It will take you lots of time and efforts. You will be placed in competition with others and you will have to cut you a path among the bests. You will absolutely need to do the best that you can, because you will be evaluated. At some point, you will come close to a failure or you will lose confidence in you. A desire of dropout will arise. You will come to a point of questioning the need, for you, to continue this training. You will overcome this stage and you will continue. This training will be recognized by the authorities and you will get a diploma, a certificate or any other paper that you will carefully preserve and that will be useful afterwards. You will be really proud of you. Keywords: learning, art, determination." My latin Tarot

Should I really believe what it says? I mean, I do feel that way because of my course since it isn't as easy as it may seem. I'm only at the beginning but I feel like I should've taken another course instead of nursing. Why? Because it was never my idea in the first place and I doubted my self if I should continue to going to school, I was planning on getting a job at first. But everyone wanted me to be a nurse now I'm not sure if I should continue it...I did enjoy my retdems during my second semester, but at the start of that semester odd and challenging things happened that made me realize what kind of life I've lived until now. It wasn't easy to get thru 4 years of highschool since I didn't like studying or enjoyed going to school and wait for that horrible subject to come up. But I managed to muster up all the guts I have and go thru it all. In the end I earned my highschool diploma and now I'm in college. sweet. At first, I thought great I'm stuck with a bunch of losers for two weeks before official classes starts. I had to go into this 2 week bridging classes for soon-to-be college students for science, mathematics, and english. Okay, so I did loosen up during 4th grading period so I kinda earned a 74+ passing rate. It's not so bad and besides I don't really care about that or did I ever learned to care about it. I may be laid back for lots of thing, but I still don't like to fail at something. So after the first week I immediately drop outta the classes because they were boring me to death and when official classes started the guards at the entrance told me that I wouldn't be able to wear a skirt! MY FREAKIN SKIRT! I CANT WEAR MY ALL TIME FAVORITE SKIRT BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING RULES?! FUCK! 'Ahem' that was first semester at that time I barely ventured out into the world of internet savvy-ness. What sad was I deleted my highschool blog from friendster! I started RF during first semester....then deleted the original title....It used to be called welcometocollege or collegelife or something close to that crap. Now, its Random Fanatic. Why? read 'MOI' Yeah, I found new friends but one thing that I hated the most was group projects and all of that. I thought college was something that you go at it alone cause you deserve it. But, I guess its all about being a team player and a strong leader for your group mates to believe in you and behave at the same time. Wow. Second semester wasn't all the best. We had financial problems that would always put me in a strong depression which made me cry in the middle of my study or just made me feel miserable every where I go. Financially & emotionally unstable we were...Its terrible. I tried talking about it but people didn't seem to understand nor did they ever were empathic about it. So I didn't talked about it because its useless and where did I go to let all of these out? Through my cards my divination cards because no one else understands me better and franker than my tarot cards.