Depression

Its hard to deal with depression especially when problems within the family and your school start crashing in altogether on you. Mother said that I don't have a problem because I am just a child I shouldn't worry about anything in my life, It seems to me she just wants me to see her as a suffering martyr ever since my father became a wasted by-stander. I do not know how all of this happened so suddenly within one week and on my very first-second week of college drama. Recently I planned to change my pink rimmed glasses into dark thick ones because I think that it will make me look more sharper and stricter. :D Today we have new addition's in our N2 section a girl from California, A cute chubby guy, and some more people I haven't noticed yet. Maybe I turned out this way since I've stopped writing down what I felt...I tried to surpress really hard what I wanted to say to my parents. I've been giving off my negativity in class which caused a rolling impact of the wheel to turn down. I know I'm smart I love being able to chase wisdom yet somehow I feel as if there are things I have to start letting go and face the fact that I will never ever have my ways till I turn back again and start walking slow. I feel articulate at times but the rage buried beneath my soul isn't quite easy to handle...as if I house a certain kind of malefic green flame. It's both cold and hot...it can't be touched yet somehow hands are attracted to it...they seek it blindly tiring themselves and finally when the have it their eyes go blank with apathety. I can't help drawing on my notebook nowadays the feel of smooth inking makes me so happy and relieved. But I have my duties and I have to stick by it...till everything is settled I will try my best to enjoy this phase within my life.

Eyeliners: How to do it with style!

If the above object doesn't work click here dew1403 in his video shows how to put on eyeliner for both guys and gals. Whats interestingly funny about this video is how he delivers it for the guys that gets called by fags or whatevs and then a great way on putting the stuff on with style! There is probably thousands or millions of DIY and tips on doing your own make-up. For me I'm just new at it so sharing about this can be a great start. With people basking in at comments on how they do it and some that don't get it much, And others who are just plain haters. But we can't live without them. Another great site for make-up and beauty tips are in http://www.makeupgeek.com they have forums, vids by the original make-up geek herself, tuts, swatches, idea gallery, and you can also buy Mac and Nyx brands from their online store along with make-up tools as well. But I don't suggest this is the only great site to look at! Heck there is probably millions more of these kind of website's now! So go check at Google.com they might have a long running list of these. ;] happy hunting!

I came home feeling empty after hanging out with my friends at the mall. Everyone was having fun but I don't think the birthday girl was although she gave off a calm aura. It's been a month since we all last saw each other but it feels like eons!!! I had trouble making up my head whether I should go or not, but then I really wanted to wear my goth-fits yet my mom she told me I couldn't and she wouldn't chaperone me even if she wanted cause of that. It totally sucked we had a fit over cause I complained while throwing a fit behind her she overheard it and came back to punch me but she didn't and thank goodness! After that I cried myself to sleep (Hahaha ^__^;) When I think about it I know I was in the wrong I couldn't explain the things I really wanted to- even towards those open minded ones I really can't it must be because I have trouble communicating with people ( Though I'm kinda superficial in talking...). It was trippy last night cause I was blaming him suddenly since I brought him up on a conversation with a friend I never realized I was just hurting myself again. Those mental and emotional torments we're happening with a twist of negativeness... And I came to her birthday hang-out at the arcade saw a lot of fashionized teenage confirmist some wearing big printed shirts in caps saying 'Proud to be a...' here and there (Their pretty much shit to me even though its my own race...baaaah!!! ) Anyway, When I got home I went straight upstairs but after checking if the internet was plugged on so I went up and opened the previous photoshop tutorial tabs. Did some tweaking on some pics here and there and pretty much getting all uptight about my war with mom...As of now she told me she was the unforgiving type...It'll only be for awhile till our heads cool off for now I'd rather tweak some pics and master CS3

This style is called vintage I found it using on tutorial (sorry but I forgot to get the name and url I was in a random fit anyways) But this one v is my favorite XDDDDD